Disclaimer: I am a Christian. I don't claim in any way to be better or more righteous than anyone else. I've made mistakes like every single other being on this planet. I choose to see the world and its issues the way I choose to with the guidance from all the wisdom I've picked up over the years.
I always feel at certain points in life that we literally stand still and watch people move around us, kind of wondering if it's all really worth it and what's the purpose. Lately, I've been feeling that way particularly when I go to church. I went to one specific church since I was a young teenager when this church was a small building and had a few annexes. I went on a lot of the trips and VBS's and was involved, but I never felt really welcomed completely. A few years go by and this church has all of a sudden boomed into a "mega-church wannabe," complete with renovations that create a new lobby, café, children's school and daycare center, green rooms, etc. While all of the change is exciting in its own fashion, I sat in the café wondering whether any of this extension had made the church better. Unfortunately, I realized it didn't. It made a lot of the sermons insinuate some sort of message about money, my brother (with some social autistic traits) wasn't being treated with care or concern, and no one really wanted to listen to anyone else's point of view. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of great people that go to said church, but any acceptance of the degradation of where the mindset and agenda the church had gone was immediately rebuffed.
I totally understand that some of those people, including the head pastor and a lot of others, have dedicated their entire lives to making the church what it is today...but that doesn't mean that inner change isn't necessary. It doesn't make anyone self-righteous or justified. It's like the attitude of parents who respect only their neighborhood reputation, the "it isn't my kid" mentality.
The whole purpose of this recall is to point out that polemics within today's "corporate religion" structure needs to occur. We can no longer sit by and watch this happen. While the Bible does command followers to "spread the Word of God to all nations," those same nations or communities of people need to be WILLING to listen...and that means not enticing them to think negatively of Christians by generalizing them with churches seen today. Even denominations, while understandable as well, divide the inner circle of Christians and so confuses non-believers when receiving different messages from what they consider to be "all the same sort of people." It'd be like one atheist telling you that there is an afterlife, and the other says there isn't. The doctrine all needs to be similar so that we reduce the amount of misunderstanding and angst various denominations cause (Church of Latter Day Saints, Jehovah's witness, etc.). Another disclaimer to add: I am not demeaning the faithfulness, nor the intent of these respective denominations by naming them, but they happen to be some of the most controversial groups as they speak of actions and ideas that are not relayed from the Bible. Example would be celestial marriage and sex that Jehovah's Witnesses believe in, but in actuality the Bible describes Heaven as a place where menial bodies are no longer required and so we cannot have intimacy with others, and our marriage is to God.
Moving on....I think and stress that anyone who is questionable about faith...especially of the Christian one, find someone who isn't necessarily all about going to church. Find someone who understands the balance of fellowship, but the real importance that lies within one's own heart and mind about having a relationship with Jesus Christ and who can share wisdom and knowledge about what the Bible really means. The Bible can be confusing sometimes and have layers of meaning in one single verse. Don't necessarily always take it at face value, but that isn't implying you should be skeptical about it. Be open-minded in the sense that you are undertaking a difficult journey...one where you will often stumble and falter and sometimes you'll feel you're completely on your own. Know though that God is always with you. Read the poem Footprints if you ever need uplifting.
My favorite verse of all is Proverbs 3: 5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Even when they may not seem so straight to you...eventually you'll find truth and understanding when the time comes. It will get frustrating, but just stick with it.
